BOOK REVIEW: The Gap Decade

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Man Shooing Away Text That Reads 'Young Adult'. Because Adulting Is Hard And No One Wants To Age

Getting old is hard. It's especially hard when you're expected to act, feel, and behave like a "real adult," but you're still convinced you're just a confused adolescent on the inside. A  teenager with a few new wrinkles but one who is still unsure how to navigate this great big world.

And that's exactly what this book, 'The Gap Decade' by Katie Schnack entails. And girl, it came just in time. As a newly 20-something-year-old with some friends still in college, others who live to work, who own their own business, and a couple who are married with kids and a full-sized house... getting old can feel difficult.

I remember a few months ago, maybe almost a year ago now I told my boyfriend, 'You know I don't feel my age. I still feel 19." (the age I was when I met him). Keep in mind he's three years older than me, so he got to have experiences I'm still yet to have. He looked at me, almost disappointed or concerned, and just said "That's not good"... as if I was saying my mind didn't grow and I was in a 'Let's skip school, and party all night' mindset. Which, for the record, I've never even been to a party outside of a birthday. And I mean that classic, cake, and pizza, soda, families, and kids all-around type of birthday parties.

What I meant was, I was finally on my own. My own bills to pay, no car, no one to go to or rely on, working every day. And yet, I never had a slumber party, I've never been to a club or a bar, I didn't even get to go out for drinks or a nice dinner for my 21st birthday. The miscellaneous memories like that. I never got to make them. Meanwhile, I see all my friends do that or got to do that, and more. I also see the ones in college and think, "Wow, will I ever get that chance?" and it's not for a lack of trying. I keep certain things about myself private and there's something some of you may or may not know, that prevented me from going to college even after I worked endless nights to win my scholarships, and yet I had to let them go.

So yeah, I still felt 19, full of missed opportunities and memories. I've had two birthdays since the pandemic started and I NEVER left the house unless for groceries and at most three family dinners. So I've been a recluse for, actually even longer than that. I'd say it's been almost 3 years since I had any type of night out, or gatherings with friends, or been anywhere outside of my home. This is probably why I've seen almost everything on Netflix already.It wasn't till this year, this most recent birthday that I've made a couple of changes and am working towards new goals that I am now starting to feel my age. But as this time comes, I see my then college friends, now become mothers or wives and they have what seems an easy fantastic life. This is truly ironic because we basically have the same things... so what the heck am I missing? What the heck am I still longing for?And then this book shows up in my mailbox as a giveaway gift I completely forgot I entered. Literally, on the front cover, it reads, "When you're TECHNICALLY an adult but really don't feel like it yet..." and I could not help but laugh and wanna cry because THIS is what I've been feeling and it seemed no one understood. Not my boyfriend, not my friends, and not my family. I thought maybe I was uber depressed or mentally not growing but then this book gave me the validation I was so desperately longing for. And now I know, this is NORMAL.The names of the chapters in this book alone are iconic. The writing is done in such a way that it doesn't feel like a self-help book but instead like I'm talking to my best friend who just gets it.

So honestly, if you're about the enter your 20's or currently are, and have been feeling this way, you have to get this book. Check it out from your local library if you have to.

As this book says:

"While you wait, eat nachos and hug your friends."

I mean what more can we do! Just take life day by day and forget about age. You are where you're supposed to be and if you don't feel that way then work on getting there. But this is YOUR life, we only get one. Live it how you want, at your pace. You're not any less of a successful adult if you don't have what your friends do. If it takes you 5 or even 10 years longer till you get to go to college and get a degree for the career you want. If you don't own a house or a car. If you can't find a suitable job you like. Whatever the case may be, you're doing amazing and I am so proud of you.

Doing your best and being okay with where you are is really all we can do. So don't give up, okay? It gets better.